~~ULKC SWIMMER X-FILES~~

[AndrewRegan]

OK boys and girls this this is where you document your proud and glorious wet exits from your kayak. To start it off I want everybody to post about their last whitewater swim using the format below. We want to hear all the gory details.

If you have a solid roll in the pool you are eligible for the Swimmers Files. Applies to rivers, playspots and the surf.

Just copy and paste this into your message:

Code: Select all

[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Date:[/b]
[b]Location:[/b]
[b]Shitty excuse:[/b]
[b]Emotional Issues arising from the event:[/b]
[b]Persons requiring rescue pints:[/b]
[b]Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence)[/b]

[AndrewRegan]

I'll help kick this off! Although I really want to see Keyes swim in the surf where he broke his boat in half....

Name:Andrew Regan
Date: Last February
Location: Futaleufu, Terminator Rapid, Chile
Shitty excuse: That hole is small, but those ones are faaaaaaar away. I wish Dermot Morgan had shared his infinite wisdom with me during my scouting of this rapid. Fr Jack must of been watching though as it felt like I got a brick to the face from a wave on the exit ramp of the rapid although my initial line went pretty nicely. Being very gassed from the hard paddle beforehand I missed two rolls in the boily water and I dropped into the rather large hole at the end of the rapid. Rather then being a man and fighting the hole, I popped my deck, took one body surf for the craic and popped up downstream where I swam to shore before the next rapid.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Bit annoyed for not fighting the hole, but I was fierce tired, I also let go of my paddle (not really sure why)
Persons requiring rescue pints: Two legendary Austrians got my boat and paddle and where bought a 12 pack of Escudo
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) Yes, a beautiful blend of red wine and foot sweat I won't forget in a hurry. No evidence as it was dark but heres a photo from my previous swim to show I am a man of honor.

[Cathal]

Name:Cathal Ferris
Date:Early June 2013, on the ULKC trip's last day in Italy
Location:Above Egua top drop, Sesia valley
Shitty excuse:No real excuse, just got caught badly when tired and got paddle ripped.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Emotional turmoil. embarrassment, sore hands. Very sore hands -HF Weasels are not nice to have to hold on to
Persons requiring rescue pints:Eoin Farrell for spending 5 min holding a HF Weasel rope with my weight on the end
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) Yes, (picture to come once I locate it)

[GavinSheehan]

Name: Gavin Sheehan
Date: Thursday June 6th 2013
Location: River Egua, Italy. The lead in to the Top Drop.
Shitty excuse: There was still a few of the lads left to get on at the top so I thought, being the clubs Safety Officer, that it'd be a very sensible and selfless act to scout the riverbed for any potential hazards for the rest of the crew.For the clubs benefit, I decided to go for roughly 20 seconds of top quality head down(literally) riverbed scouting before the River Gods eventually pulled my deck and ejected me from my boat.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Almost saw my beloved Sheeba take a trip down the Top Drop by herself. Still recovering from that sight 9 months on. Luckily she eddied out on river right.
Persons requiring rescue pints: Cathal and Simon for hauling me and my boat up some extremely slippy rocks.
Swim Bootie Y/N: Yes, a dreadful UHT milk booty caught on many different cameras.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wmvhyv_f0o&t=15m53s

And from another angle!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPU3gwAXc2s&t=4m44s

[EoinK]

Name: Eoin Keyes
Date: October sometime
Location: Easky
Shitty excuse: Paddling someone elses boat, since I broke mine in half the week before. Boat slower along the wave than what I'm used to.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Paddle ripped out of hand, second time that's happened to me at Easky. Quite annoying. The first time I resurfaced upright but lost the paddle. This time I resurfaced upsidedown, couldn't hand roll, pulled the deck, and made the rescue lads go away and get my paddle before they brought me in.
Persons requiring rescue pints: Chris Hobson
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) ...

The wave in question:

It's at 1.54 in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCXZUdRmIrE

Andrew I didn't swim the time I broke my boat! I was able to paddle it back around the pier full of water.

[AndrewRegan]

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) ...

We're going to need a definite answer on the swim bootie issue Mr. Keyes. Yes or No.

Please respectfully pay your homage to the river gods.

[CrazyRedSean]

Name: Seán "Big Red" Murphy
Date: Early Febuary
Location: The Glens at the bottom of Mikeys during the time trial race for Varsities.
Shitty excuse: I was bollixed! RAGING I was and still am RAGING (Caoimhe F will tell ya). It was my first proper race, I was coming to the end of the race, was hitting nice lines too and coming to Mikies, Jack was ahead of me and I was gaining ground on him. Could see the lip and said Id head left and ride up on the cushion wave and speed up on the way down it. Hit it lovely(Caoimhe F will tell ya), snaked down through it, coming out the bottom took a stoke and my paddle just sank in the water and I followed it and went over half in the eddy.... Tired roll once no energy so no luck and was beside the wall on the right for my second roll and no joy, then I was bollixed, swam! Basically in the eddy. Caoimhe Farrell in the eddy on safety too.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: BASTARD! Shameful day so so shameful!
Persons requiring rescue pints: CaoimheFarrell, even though I swam out into the eddy and rescued my boat.
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) MMMMMMmmmmmm I do my bootie beers but I do believe I still owe the river gods this one and one for Caoimhe too.

[MikeShaw]

Name: Mike Shaw
Date: Late July 2012
Location: CIWW, Cardiff
Shitty excuse: We decided to have a boater cross down the course while some kids were practicing their freestyle moves, I managed to be tied for second coming down the back leg of the course and on the 3rd last rapid we ran opposing lines at the exact same time and collided putting us both upside down. I was knackered and after one feeble roll attempt I pulled my deck and sat in a whirlpool for awhile to cool off.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: None personally but we smashed some kids on the way down that probably have something to say about being hit by a Lime Green fat bastid in a Giant Mamba.
Persons requiring rescue pints: One of the little kids helped me out of the whirlpool with a tow...moment of shame
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) N to a bootie, The trinity guys made me do a Cement Mixer in Seamus O'Donnells in Bristol, I made it a few doors down the street and puked in the Mothers Ruin... roughly around were these lads in the bottom right are sitting...

[Caoimhe_F]

Name: Caoimhe Farrell
Date: Varsities 2014
Location: ICU Centre (Yes, that is infact flatwater...)
Shitty excuse: I'd like to put the blame on Eoin Howard for this one. He insisted on letting me share his vodka with him and this resulted in a very fragile me on Sunday morning. So I don't think it should come as a surprise to anyone that my hand roll decided to fail on me. Numerous times.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: I now have to live with the fact that I swam in flat water in front of a large amount of people while about 4 foot from the bank. And the evidence (below) is also in the Varsities video....
Persons requiring rescue pints: Emer Farrell kindly came to my side and helped me empty my boat. Conor Bredin also made me do jumpin' jacks and lots of snot rockets to get me back in the game for the next run.
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) I nominate Eoin Howard to do the booty - he'll get much more satisfaction out of the free beer than I would!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09X2Y420Bco&t=15m28s

[JackPhelan]

Name: Jack Phelan
Date: Saturday March 15th 2014
Location: Some weir in the middle of Kilkenny
Shitty excuse: Was in a party wave at the end of the jam and Mark Scanlon thought our signature move could be me swimming, he capsized me and held me under untill I had no choice but to swim
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Can never trust Mark again
Persons requiring rescue pints: No one, self rescued in the eddy
Swim Bootie: There was no alcohol present and haven't had a chance since, It will be done, Mark has also agreed to do one for causing an unnecessary swim

[Eoin F]

Name:Eoin Farrell
Date:Somtime over the early part of Summer trip 2013....about a week aftr everyone went home after the alps trip
Location: Triple step rapid on the Middle Guil in France
Shitty excuse: The water was high. I had seen this rapid about 3 years previous and this time was determined to give it a go, regardless of the high water. Myself Simon and Howard were there and looking and chatting and watched a few British lads style it. Simple enough line, keep centre but the water was so boily with incredibly unpredictable eddy lines. Also very aerated water. After a bit of deliberation myself and simon got in above ready to go with Howard below with a rope and camera. Nervously i pulled into the eddy above the entry ramp and was ready to fire it up. I peeled out and started down the ramp, a lot bigger than i had thought. I was thrown over and after 3 attempts rolled up and found myself on the wrong side of the river about to drop into the crux. I quickly hoofed over to the left but went too far, got caught in a boily eddy line and flipped. Several roll attempts later I was out of my boat and swimming.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Lost paddle. DOSE. Lucky we brought spares for the trip. also lost my canyoneers!
Persons requiring rescue pints: Howard missed with the rope s i swam in myself about 20m down from the rapid. British guys pulled out my boat about a kilometer downstream, along with my water shed full of camera gear!
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) No swim bootie. I am sorry river gods! I will not forsake thee again!

[MikeShaw]

Howard missed with the rope

I think Howard owes the river gods a little summin summin...

[GavinSheehan]

Name:Eoin Farrell
Date:Somtime over the early part of Summer trip 2013....about a week aftr everyone went home after the alps trip
Location: Triple step rapid on the Middle Guil in France
Shitty excuse: The water was high. I had seen this rapid about 3 years previous and this time was determined to give it a go, regardless of the high water. Myself Simon and Howard were there and looking and chatting and watched a few British lads style it. Simple enough line, keep centre but the water was so boily with incredibly unpredictable eddy lines. Also very aerated water. After a bit of deliberation myself and simon got in above ready to go with Howard below with a rope and camera. Nervously i pulled into the eddy above the entry ramp and was ready to fire it up. I peeled out and started down the ramp, a lot bigger than i had thought. I was thrown over and after 3 attempts rolled up and found myself on the wrong side of the river about to drop into the crux. I quickly hoofed over to the left but went too far, got caught in a boily eddy line and flipped. Several roll attempts later I was out of my boat and swimming.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Lost paddle. DOSE. Lucky we brought spares for the trip. also lost my canyoneers!
Persons requiring rescue pints: Howard missed with the rope s i swam in myself about 20m down from the rapid. British guys pulled out my boat about a kilometer downstream, along with my water shed full of camera gear!
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) No swim bootie. I am sorry river gods! I will not forsake thee again!

DOSE

[LukeKelly]

Name: Luke Kelly
Date: January 2014
Location: Aberglasyn Gorge
Shitty excuse: I have non really... flipped in the hole, had the shits that day so was off my game altogether but I didn't go down without a fight! Tried a healthy amount of rolls before I dropped into the next tiny hole and said feck it YOLO and pulled the "D"
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Lost a chunk of confidence especially as all the club were on the bank taking pictures
Persons requiring rescue pints: Gav Jack
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) yes was scrummy I did it with a load of lads in the kitchen of Jessie James Bunkhouse a video was taken but i do not know the whereabouts of that picture


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bK-uCRYOMQU

[mmmm_scandalous]

Name: Mark Scanlon
Date: Febuary 2014
Location: The Glens
Shitty excuse: I'm a little girl... Was sitting up upside down under big eas. Felt a little water hit the hull of my boat and shat myself. Pulled my deck in the pool without any attempt at a roll. Swam into the bank with boat and paddles before anyone could see me and laugh. The Barry Loughnanne caught me sliding back into the water as he came over the drop. #morto
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Can't look at any whitewater paddler in the face anymore.
Person's requiring rescue beers: Quite a handy self rescue out of flatwater
Swim bootie: Have to get around to that I suppose